Whose Line Is It Anyway
by SaitouuRyuuji
Summary: Kenshin is a talkshow host for "Whose Line Is It Anyway."
1. Episode 1

Kenshin: Welcome everyone to "whose line is it Anyway?" I'm Himura Kenshin.

_Kenshin walks down the stairs and into his dest while the audience claps._

Kenshin: Thank you Thank you. Welcome to "Whose line is it Anyway?" Of course the show is named after me. Tonight our performers will be awarded points on how well they do but the points don't matter one bit. However, whoever wins gets to do something fun in the end. Now allow me to introduce our performers tonight. They are Hiko-san, Sano, Shishio, and our ever favorite Saitou.

Sano: Why is he here?

Kenshin: Who?

Sano: The only other performing male.

_Sano points to Saitou._

Saitou: Believe me, I didn't want to come.

Kenshin He's just filling in for Misao who unexpectedly fell ill.

_Saitou crossed his arms in anger._

Saitou: I think she's lying.

Hiko: Now Saitou don't be so mad, come have some Sake with me.

Shishio: Hey we're all performing males.

Saitou: Don't talk to me old man.

Hiko: Where? Where's the old man?

_Hiko suspiciously looks around while sipping his sake._

Saitou: Hrmph . . . .

Kenshin: Come on you guys we're supposed to be having fun. Speaking of fun here's our first game.

Game #1: Questions Only

Kenshin: This is for everyone. Hiko and Shishio will start, for this game you are only allowed to ask questions, if you mess up then I will press the buzzer and you will be replaced by someone else.

Kenshin: Before we start the game, let's have the audience pick a setting.

_Audience spouts out suggestions._

Kenshin: Jail, jail sounds good. Ok the place is in jail. Take it away.

Hiko: What you in for?

Shishio: What?

Hiko: Did you run away?

Shishio: From what?

Hiko: Uh, from Saitou?

_Kenshin pushes the buzzer._

Kenshin: Sorry master but uh isn't a question.

Hiko: Ah shucks.

_Saitou takes Hiko's place._

Shishio: Who are you?

Saitou: What's your worst nightmare?

Shishio: What? Are you interrogating me?

Saitou: You don't want to answer me seriously?

Shishio: Are you annoying?

Saitou: Are you stupid?

Shishio: Are you grumpy?

_Saitou smirks._

Saitou: Are you afraid?

_Surprised Shishio blurted out._

Shishio: NO!! I am Shishio, and I will rule the world.

_Saitou smiled._

Shishio: You enjoy this too much.

_Shishio lunges for Saitou's throat. Saitou side-steps and knees Shishio in the stomach._

Saitou: I may not have beaten you then but I sure can beat you now.

_Shishio falls to the floor._

_Sano steps in and restrains Shishio._

Sano: My turn.

Kenshin Ok, let's try this again.

_Kenshin tentatively pushes the buzzer to continue._

Sano: Are you a policeman?

Saitou: What?

Sano: Why are you in jail?

Saitou: Do I know you?

Sano: Do you?

Saitou: Huh?

Sano: Running out of questions?

Saitou: Can we go onto the next game?

Sano: . . . .

_Kenshin pushed the buzzer._

Kenshin: Ok, everyone back to your seats.

Hiko: I wanted to play again, that wasn't fair, Saitou had all the fun.

Shishio: Shut up cry baby.

Saitou: You would think that Kenshin's master would keep himself better composed.

Hiko: I'm depressed I want my sake.

Saitou: Cry baby.

_Hiko threw his sake cup at Saitou hitting him in the side of the head._

Saitou: Hrmph . . . .

_Sano, Kenshin, and Shishio chuckled._

Saitou: Can we just get on with the next game?

Game #2: Dating Game

Kenshin: Ok, next is the dating game. Hiko will be the bachelorette and has to guess who Saitou, Shishio, and Sano are acting out. Now lets start.

Hiko: Um, like Bachelor #1, where would you take me if we went out on a date?

Sano: I would take you to a place that serves sake, lots and lots of sake.

Hiko: Um, like Bachelor #2, what would you say on our date?

Shishio: Battousai, you can't hide from me forever, I will hunt you down!!

Hiko: Ok, um well Bachelor #3 same question.

Saitou: You shouldn't kill that you shouldn't.

Hiko: Bachelor #1 who is your role model.

Sano: Why, it should be apparent, I myself, am #1.

Hiko: Yes, um you are #1, Ok Bachelor #2 same question.

Shishio: Battousai!!

Hiko: Um, Bachelor #2, you are strange. #3 same question.

Saitou: Um, I would say that I look up to Saitou. He's the best at sword fighting.

Hiko: Um, well ok . . . .

Kenshin: Can you guess Hiko?

Hiko: I don't know who Bachelor#1 is, but Shishio is Enishi, and Saitou is playing my idiot apprentice.

Kenshin: Master I'm not an idiot.

Saitou: Yes you are

Kenshin: No comment.

Kenshin: Sano was acting as youm, master.

Hiko: I don't love sake that much!

_Hiko then sits down and starts drinking some sake._

Kenshin: Saitou for your information, I do not look up to you.

Saitou: Yes you do.

Kenshin: No I don't.

Saitou: Uh-huh, because I'm taller than you.

_Kenshin grumbles._

Kenshin: Note to self, kick Saitou off the show.

Game #3: "Whose Line is Anyway?"

Kenshin: Hiko and Shishio will be playing this game.

Hiko: Yea, I'll get my chance to beat Saitou.

_Saitou just closes his eyes and slowly shakes his head._

Saitou: Kenshin, your master is so simple minded.

_Hiko stuck his tongue out at Saitou._

_Kenshin just shrugged._

Kenshin: Like I was saying, for this game I have remarks that the audience wrote down on paper, somewhere in your conversation you will need to include them.

_Kenshin hands Hiko and Shishio two slips of paper each. Hiko pockets his but Shishio looks distressed._

Shishio: I don't have any pockets.

Saitou: Put them in your bandages I'm sure they'll blend in quite well.

Shishio: Shut up Saitou.

Saitou: Shut doesn't go up it goes between doors.

_Shishio stuffs the papers into his bandages muttering something about killing everyone on Whose Line Is It Anyway._

Kenshin: When I press the buzzer the game will begin, but before that let's have the audience pick a place.

_Audience shouts out suggestions._

Kenshin: Pet store, we'll use pet store.

_Hiko walks into a pretend pet shop._

Shishio: How can I help you.

Hiko: I'm just looking around.

Shishio: Take your time.

_Hiko wanders around the stage and stops._

Hiko: Oh, that's so cute.

Shishio: That puppy?

Hiko: Yes, this is exactly what I'm looking for.

Shishio: Sorry sir, but he's not for sale.

Hiko: Why?

Shishio: Because he's the last one I have.

_Hiko looking around sees a parrot._

Hiko: What about this parrot?

Shishio: Same problem.

Hiko: You know what my father used to say about people like you?

Shishio: What?

_Digging in his pocket Hiko pulls out a paper._

Hiko: He says . . . . I love Aoshi.

Shishio: You have a weird father.

Hiko: Don't you make fun of my father you pompous, old, shriveled up piece of bandages, your store stinks.

Shishio: Now you've gone to far you . . . .

_Shishio pulls out a piece of paper._

Shishio: Fuzzy Pickle.

Hiko: I'm going to call the cops, I don't need to take this crap.

Shishio: Didn't you read my sign?

Hiko: No what did it say?

_Shishio pulls out another paper._

Shishio: Ah, the power of cheese.

Hiko: Is that supposed to be your store name?

Shishio: No, you dolt, it means I'm closed!

Hiko: Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?

Shishio: You didn't pay attention, stupid.

_Hiko pulls out a piece of paper._

Hiko: Well, your so hot that you burn plastic.

Shishio: . . . . Um, well this isn't really a pet store.

Hiko: What?

Shishio: This actually is a pet day care.

_Kenshin pushed the buzzer stopping the game._

Saitou: There Hiko, now you have had your fun.

Hiko: Jealous aren't ya.

Saitou: I rightly don't care.

_Saitou then took a cigarette and started smoking._

Saitou: One thing that bothers me, who wrote "I love Aoshi/"

Misao: I did.

_Saitou turns his head in her direction, when seeing her he leaped from his seat and bolted for her._

Saitou: I'm going to kill you weasel-girl!!

Misao: Aoshi help me.

_Sano ran up and restrained Saitou._

Saitou: She lied.

Sano: Calm down.

Misao: It was fun to watch you Saitou.

Hiko: Come join me Saitou.

_Saitou calms down and goes back to smoking his cigarette and walks back to his seat._

Saitou: Pass me a cup.

_Hiko poured Saitou some sake and passed it to him._

Kenshin: Saitou your not supposed to smoke in here.

_Saitou didn't drink any sake, instead he walked over to Kenshin._

Kenshin: W, what are you going to do Saitou?

Saitou: Giving you what you deserve.

_Saitou held his hand with the sake cup in it and overturned it on to Kenshin's head._

Hiko: Tch, Saitou you wasted perfectly good sake.

_Kenshin dripping wet started to revert to Battousai._

Kenshin: You will die for you insolence!!

_Saitou punched Kenshin in the face, Kenshin reverted back._

Kenshin: Thank you.

Saitou: you are weak.

Kenshin: Saitou sit down.

_Saitou puffing on his cigarette sat back down and smirked._

Saitou: that was fun.

Kenshin: Maybe to you but I'm sopping wet.

Saitou: That was the whole point. To show how weak you really are.

Kenshin: Ok, let's just go on to the next game.

Shishio: The hoedown?

Kenshin: Sorry for today it's the "Role Play."

Shishio: Darn it I wanted to make fun of sake.

_Hiko got angry, and threw his sake cup at Shishio knocking Shishio out._

Kenshin: Good job Master.

Hiko: He deserved it.

Kenshin: Misao, we need you to come down and take Shishio's place.

Misao: Alright, as long as Saitou stay's away from me.

_Saitou just sat there and smiled._

Misao: Wolf-boy scares me.

Saitou: Just doing my job.

_Saitou then took his cigarette put it out and flicked it at Misao._

_Misao stuck her tongue out at Saitou._

_Saitou smirked making him look more scary than he already was._

Saitou: Welcome to the game Weasel-girl.

Kenshin: Ok Saitou, stop acting mean to the poor girl.

Saitou: I didn't do anything, just welcoming the girl.

Kenshin: Sure whatever.

Hiko: Let's just get on with the game.

Game #4: World's Worst

Kenshin: For this game two performers whom I will choose shortly will reenact the fight between Saitou and I had in the dojo. Hiko will play Saitou and Saitou will play me.

Saitou: Great I get to be the sissy.

Hiko: I get to make Saitou look dumb.

Kenshin: Misao will play Kaoru and Sano just gets to stand there and look pretty.

Sano: SO I don't even get to speak?

Kenshin: You get to cheer Kenshin on.

Sano: Oh, great.

Kenshin: Ok, so do you remember who you are playing?

Hiko: I'm Saitou.

Saitou: I'm the idiot, oh I mean Kenshin.

Misao: I"m Kaoru.

Sano: I'm sano. grumble I wanted to be Yahiko.

Kenshin pressed the buzzer.

Kenshin: Ok, lets get started then.

Scene starts after Kenshin gets back from fighting Akumatsu.

Hiko: You are weak Kenshin you couldn't even kill Akumatsu.

Saitou: He was too boring I didn't want to waste my time.

Misao: Who would have thought that Kenshin's mortal enemy would be so ugly.

Saitou bristled and Hiko coughed politely.

Saitou: What did you come for?

Hiko: I came to fight you of course.

Sano: You'll have to go through me first.

Hiko: I thought I already did.

Sano: You just got lucky.

Saitou chuckled.

Saitou: That was a good pun.

Hiko: Are we going to get started or are we going to sit around and chitchat all day long.

Saitou shrugged.

Saitou: I don't want to fight anymore you bore me.

Hiko: Your just a chicken, afraid he might lose.

Saitou disappeared and reappeared behind Hiko. Hiko turned around and caught the flat of the blade with his face.

Hiko with a red mark on his face yelled like a banshee and started to stab at Saitou.

Hiko: Take that and that.

Sano: Go get him Saitou.

Hiko: Ha, ha, ha, even your friends are against you.

Saitou: I'll deal with you later Sano.

Misao: Saitou looks so cute when he's fighting.

Saitou blushed.

Misao: Not you kenshin, I mean Saitou.

Hiko blushed and got hit in the head with Saitou's hilt.

Saitou: Saitou your too slow.

Hiko: Ok! I've had enough of this.

Hiko threw his shord down and tackled Saitou to the ground.

Saitou: Cheater, I don't wrestle.

Hiko: smiles I"m not you.

Saitou starts slapping and punching Hiko in the face.

Saitou: Pick up your sword you old man, you disgrace me with such attacks. I will kill you.

Hiko: Finally the Battousai has emerged.

Saitou: I WILL KILL YOU!

Sano: Go Kenshin kick his butt.

Saitou: Oh, I will.

Hiko swung his sword close to Saitou's face because of the air movement Saitou's strands of hair stood straight up on end.

Hiko: I can't finish the game. Hiko chuckled.

Saitou: then I win. Kenshin wins.

Sano, Kenshin, Hiko and Misao dropped to the floor laughing.

Saitou: I fail to see what is so funny in that.

Kenshin still on the floor reaches up and hits the buzzer.

Kenshin: Ha, ha, ha. That's all for our show now. Kenshin started to roll around laughing even harder.

Saitou: What's so funny?!

Shishio who had been knocked out finally woke up and the first thing he saw was Saitou's hair standing on end.

Shishio: It looks like Saitou used too much hair gel.

Saitou: Kenshin, give me a mirror.

Kenshin handed Saitou a mirror.

Saitou: HIKO YOUR GOING TO DIE!! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!

Hiko paused, pulled out a camera and took a picture of Saitou rushing toward him hands outstretched ready to strangle Hiko.

Saitou: I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU HIKO!!!

Hiko threw Kenshin the camera.

Hiko: Print as many copies as you can I want to blackmail him.

Hiko then ran out into the street with Saitou hot on his trail.

Kenshin: Ok, so who wants a copy?

Everyone in the audience raised their hand.

Sano rubbed his hands together gleefully.

Sano: This is gonna be great I can finally get back at him for calling me rooster-head all the time.

Misao: Well we better get them developed.

Kenshin: That's all for tonight, thanks for coming.

All actors then left the stage.


	2. Episode 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin but I thought it would be fun to do another "Whose Line is it Anyway" Kenshin style. Oh I'm so going to have fun with this one. There are probably some places that don't make sense. I tried my hardest with this one, I hope its funny. Here we go.

_The crowd goes wild while the actors impatiently wait for the games to begin. Some crowd members whoop and holler with excitement when they hear the host speak._

Host: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway" Kenshin style.

_The crowd is confused; this host coming down the stairs isn't Kenshin it's…_

Host: I'm your host for tonight.

_The actors' jaws drop in unison, where was Kenshin? The reoccurring actors Hiko and Sano looked at each other in mild surprise; the only other reoccurring actor, Saitou, wasn't there because he was…_

Sano: Saitou what are you doing behind Kenshin's desk?!

_Saitou smirked at Sano's outburst before sitting down at Kenshin's desk._

Saitou: I'm sorry everybody Kenshin is tied up with something very important at the moment and he would like me to introduce tonight's show.

_Sano glared at Saitou and began muttering under his breath. Saitou, acting like he didn't hear Sano just smirked and started the introductions._

Sano: Great now I have to worry about being made a fool.

Saitou: So without further ado welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Tonight our performers will be awarded points on how well they do but the points don't matter one bit. However, whoever wins gets to do something fun in the end. Now allow me to introduce our performers tonight. They are sake-loving Hiko, Rooster-head…I mean…big, brawny Sano, and two guests. For the first time on "Whose Line is it Anyway" meet stupid Battousai's food-burning fiancé, Kaoru.

_Saitou pauses before continuing._

Saitou: Now for the last introduction let me introduce the great Tokio.

_Hiko and Sano look over to Kaoru and Tokio and find their eyes almost pop out of their heads. Tokio was drop-dead gorgeous. In a classical kimono with dark black hair cascading down her back and framing her small apple shaped face. She blushed as Hiko and Sano had problems __staying on their stools. She then turned her brown eyes in the men and winked. That was the last straw; both Sano and Hiko fell off their chairs unceremoniously. Kaoru only glared at Tokio. It was clear that she was jealous that Tokio could make such a handsome man as Hiko fall to the floor._

Kaoru: Humph…

_She then realized that she had been insulted._

Kaoru: Hey my cooking isn't that bad!!

_Tokio just giggled before winking at Saitou, who in turn smirked back; revenge was going to be oh so sweet._

Kaoru: What did you do with Kenshin you big monster?!

Saitou: Now, now he's just taking care of business, no need to worry.

_Kaoru glared at Saitou through half-lidded eyes._

Kaoru: I'll worry if I want too.

Saitou: Ha ha then by all means go find him.

_Kaoru bit her lip. Should she find him or play?_

Kaoru: I want to at least play one game before I go find him.

Saitou: Haha, even in the end Battousai's woman leaves him if only but for a little while because she wants to play a game. Well I guess its ok, for this first game I shall make it as fun as possible but before that Hiko, Roosterhead get up off the floor you're an embarrassment to decent men everywhere.

_Hiko and Sano stagger to their feet and Sano immediately glares at Saitou._

Hiko: I just lost my balance that's all, I'm still decent.

_Hiko then takes out his jug of sake from behind his chair and proceeds to drink from it._

Saitou: Right and decent men drink sake from the bottle…Well anyway the game we are playing deals with all four of you, I decided to bring back this game from last time because it was my favorite, have fun. So audience what should the scenario be?

_Shouts of "inside a volcano" or at a wedding rang through the building Saitou smirks finally finding the one he wanted. He then pushed the buzzer and proceeded to tell performers and audience alike the rules._

Saitou: Ok so the rules are simple, so simple an idiot could follow them. You must speak only in questions and I have chosen the scenario for you. You are at a baseball game trying to get a baseball.

Game #1: Questions Only

_Hiko and Kaoru are matched up first._

Hiko: I will get retribution by winning this game.

_Saitou just shakes his head and pushes the buzzer._

Saitou: Next.

Hiko: Hey that's not fair!

Saitou: You should have thought about that before you opened your mouth. Now move along and let somebody else play.

_Hiko grumbles as he leaves the stage area to be replaced with Sano. Kaoru, curious about what happened smiled; she knew what her first question was going to be._

Kaoru: Hiko-sama, what's going on?

Sano: Did you hear ball get hit by the bat?

Kaoru: Is that ball a homer?

Sano: Where?

Kaoru: Did that man get out at first?

Sano: Do you know anything about first base?

Kaoru: Who's on first, what's on second?

Sano: What do I look like, an umpire?

_Kaoru just couldn't stand it, Sano was baiting himself up pretty well, so well that she just had to say it, she couldn't resist. She just forgot to put it in question format._

Kaoru: No, you are a freeloader and a Rooster-head.

_Saitou clapped his hands before hitting the buzzer. He had to admit even though she was an annoying Racoon-girl she sure did have her moments. Kaoru only growled at Saitou before stepping offstage to have Tokio take her place._

Tokio: Do you play baseball?

Sano: What?

Tokio: Are you the rugged type of baseball player?

Sano: Wh-ha…

_Saitou smirks and hits the buzzer. Sano was stock-still, practically foaming at the mouth._

Saitou: Sorry Rooster-head you lose.

_Sano too star struck to glare or yell profanities numbly walks offstage to be replaced with Hiko._

Hiko: Shall we play ball?

Tokio: What field position do you want?

Hiko: Can I be catcher?

Tokio: Can you catch a wolf?

_Hiko stares at Tokio in a confused manner clearly not understanding her meaning but Saitou couldn't help but smirk wider._

Hiko: Does that have anything to do with baseball?

Tokio: Does it?

Hiko: Huh?

Tokio: Are you afraid of wolves?

Hiko: Why?

Tokio: Would you like to know?

_Saitou hits the buzzer and shakes his head at Tokio who in turn slipped her hand inside her sleeve before putting it up to her face to cover smile. Everybody thought it a smile of innocence but Saitou knew that Tokio was trying to not only pull his chain but see the reactions of everybody's faces when they heard she was his wife. No if anybody was going to say something about it, it would be him and he would do it at his own time._

Saitou: Well that's the end of that game.

Hiko: What? Why? There was no clear winner!

Saitou: It's over because I say so, now get back to your seats or you won't get any points.

Sano: I thought you said the points don't matter?!

Saitou: They don't but you won't be able to participate in the very last game if you don't have any points.

Hiko and Sano: How unfair!

_With that they both ran to their stools leaving Kaoru and Tokio to walk slowly back to their respective places._

Kaoru: Now that I'm done with that game I shall go save Kenshin from your dastardly plans.

_Saitou simply lit a cigarette and stared at Kaoru._

Saitou: It seems as if Racoon-girl feels the irresistible urge to save her beloved Battsousai, we shall in need of a volunteer from the audience to take her place, and no Enishi you can't come up here because you're too boring of a person. All you want to do is run around saying how you're going to kill the Battousai. For one, I alone have that privilege to cross swords and kill the Battousai but second you're just crazy. I want somebody sane to come up here.

_Hearing this only made Enishi spit, pull out his sword and charge at Saitou. Tokio for a minute looked like she was going to defend Saitou but such actions were quelled when Saitou pulled out his sword and held it point blank at Enishi._

Saitou: If you wish to die like a whipped dog come closer.

_Enishi growled and went for Kaoru instead but before he could reach her to do damage Tokio stepped in front of Kaoru and deflected Enishi's deathblow._

Tokio: Run home like the whipped dog you are.

_Enishi, taken by surprise at Tokio's actions, could only stammer and stumble back._

Tokio: Guards this man is causing a mess for the show, it's meant to be funny not tarnished with blood.

_Guards immediately complied and dragged a still shocked Enishi away from the stage. Tokio looked at Kaoru._

Tokio: My dear are you alright?

_Kaoru, mouth open, just stared at Tokio. She then flashed a timid smile. _

Kaoru: I'm fine, I'll just be on my way to find Kenshin and save the show from Saitou, that demon wolf.

_With that Kaoru left the stage to go on her quest to find her love Kenshin and save the show from doom and gloom under the hands of Saitou._

Tokio: Saitou you're not very much liked now are you?

Saitou: I can't help it, and I don't know what it is.

Sano: You stupid fool it's your personality!

Saitou: I don't see anything wrong with it.

Sano: That's exactly my point.

Saitou: Rooster-head do you even have a point?

_Sano just gritted his teeth. I hope little missy can find Kenshin because this show isn't as funny when Kenshin isn't here._

Saitou: Well enough of this chit-chat we shall get on with the next game.

Tokio: But we can't yet not until we have a fourth member.

_Saitou grumbled as he looked out in the audience. There he saw the ever energized weasel girl bouncing up and down to the point Saitou thought she'd shoot right through the roof. It was then that he spied Aoshi sitting as silent as ever right beside her. It might be fun to see if we can break that cold exterior of his._

Saitou: Aoshi please come and join in the games.

Aoshi: …..

Saitou: You know you want to.

Aoshi: …..

Sano: That big ice block doesn't want to come just pick that bouncing weasel-girl beside him.

_Saitou glared at Sano a look so fierce that he automatically shut up and sat there. Hiko this whole time was just chugging away at his sake still bummed out that he couldn't finish the game, he knew that he could have held his own against that woman, even if he was starting to break down just a little. He held the jug's rope tighter and drank all the heavier._

Hiko: If the man is too big of a chicken then he should just leave. It's not a wonder that my idiot apprentice beat him so easily. He's just a wimp. Here I thought he was a man with ideals, now I see through his façade. He's a lily-livered coward.

_Saitou smirked, it was a good thing to have that old man around, he was almost as good at throws around insults as Tokio or he, himself, was. He was beginning to reevaluation what he thought about Hiko. In some ways they were alike, mostly in attitude that is, but Saitou still considered him boring because all he did was drink sake and make pottery, how boring._

Misao: Don't talk about Aoshi-sama that way you pompous old man!

Hiko: Where? Where's the old man?  
_  
Hiko suspiciously looks around while sipping his sake._

Aoshi: …Misao it's ok.

Saitou: Good then get up here, the longer you make us wait the more boring this game show will get.

_The crowd cheers and claps as Aoshi slowly makes his way to the stage to take his place between Tokio and Sano._

_Now that all the performers are in place I shall have my revenge for the last game. It took me forever to try and get all those pictures of me with my bangs sticking on end out of the clutched of my superiors. It really tarnished my image of being an uncaring, cruel policeman that seems to have been possessed by the devil….I really need to stop listening to my subordinates._

Sano: Why does he have to sit near me?

Saitou: Why do you always complain?

Sano: I don't know I was just hoping…

Saitou: The answer is no!

Sano: Man I liked it better when you were down here with us; up there you act all high and mighty.

Saitou: Just doing my job.  
Tokio: Saitou come on let's just start the second game already.

_Saitou rather quickly complies causing Hiko to wonder something before deciding against it. They couldn't be husband and wife._

Saitou: Well once again this game has to do with you three extraordinarily odd-beat bunch of whackos and ravishingly beautiful lady.

_Aoshi sat there impassive as always while Hiko and Sano looked at each other in anger. Hiko, with all his drunken might, flung his empty sake jug at Saitou's head but it only went about three inches to fall on his foot. In a yowl of misery Hiko jumped/slid off his chair and began hopping around the room in circles. He then accidentally hopped into Sano knocking him off his stool. This was better than Saitou could have imagined. Right now Hiko and Sano were tangled up in __stools, hair and that dastardly heavy cloak Hiko also wore. Saitou could hear Sano using colorful words at Hiko while he tried to push the 6'2" muscular giant and heavy cloak off himself. Tokio not missing the opportunity quietly took a shot with her camera phone. _

Saitou: Now if you two can get a hold of yourselves I'm going to explain the rules and what you will be acting out.

_They each staggered to their feet._

Sano: Hiko you really need to stop drinking so much.

Hiko: I don't drink that much!!

Tokio: Boys please listen to the rules.

Hiko and Sano: Yes ma'am.

Saitou: Like I said before this game is for all four of you. Tokio you will be the anchor of a local news show and Sano will be your co-anchor, which Sano you better not even dare do anything too rash or you will feel my wrath.

Sano: What's this all about?

Tokio: I wouldn't ask if I were you.

_Sano just stares at Tokio star struck._

Sano: Yes Ma'am.

_Sano was still out of it and reacted too late to his assignment._

Saitou: Moron, like I said before you're her co-anchor and you have been hypnotized to where you only act like a rooster, you got that?

Sano: Whatever you say Sait….Hey woah wait that's not cool Saitou.

_Tokio turns her attention to Sano and pouts._

Tokio: Please Sano won't you do it, it will help save the show; it will make it so much funnier. It will be like your saving the show from sudden doom.

_Tokio innocently tilted her head and batted her eyelashes at Sano, he, totally unaware that he's being strung along by a string happily complies._

Sano: Whatever you want me to do I'll do.

Tokio: I'm happy to hear that.

_Tokio then turns her attention to Aoshi and Hiko._

Tokio: Now you two will be good boys and do the parts you are given without question won't you?

_Hiko, practically drooling at the mouth, nods vigorously with his eyes alight while Aoshi just rolls his eyes. Tokio didn't say anything but she took Aoshi's reaction as a way of saying yes._

Saitou: Hiko you're doing the sports and you're an aggressively competitive German trying to play 'Whack-a-mole' and Aoshi you're going to be doing the weather as a ninja trying to summon something.

_Nobody could hear Aoshi mutter to himself._

Aoshi: This is going to be interesting.

Game #2: Weird Newscasters

Saitou: When the music starts take it away Tokio.

_The theme music for the game Weird Newscasters begins to play. As the music nears the end Tokio sits up straight and clears her throat. She was going to try all she can to make her fellow actors become as embarrassed as possible. The music finally stops and Tokio starts._

Tokio: Welcome to Tokyo news I'm your anchor Big Buddha. This just in rabid monkeys escaped from the petting zoo last night. Expect them in a town near you shortly.

_Sano just looks every which way as Tokio continues with her news casting._

Tokio: Hey Moe Ron did you hear the rumor about what some people do with their pet chickens?

_Sano just clucks as he starts strutting around the stage._

Tokio: I heard there are people who love their chickens so much they dress them up in fancl clothes then actually show them off.

Sano: Cock-a-doodle-doo.

_Sano begins running around frantically like a chicken with his head cut off._

Tokio: I can understand doing that with some chickens especially the bald ones but why do that with all of them? Doesn't look Moe Ron here made a very good showman does it. While I try to catch my hypnotized Co-anchor I now turn the time over to Bunch O'Bandaids.

_The camera pans in on Hiko, who's a sports caster acting as a very competitive German playing the game 'Whack-a-mole.'_

Hiko: Tain Q Big Buddha. This veek in da vorld vide game of sports da baseball team 'Da Moles' vere pummeled by der arch enemies 'Da Vackas.' Dat remindz me of da game 'Vack-a-mole.' Argh no matter how many times I play that stupid game I just can't vin against dos stupid moles. Forget about da stupid sports all I want to do is play Vack-a-mole and defeat dos insufferable bunches of dirty….

_Hiko didn't finish his sentence as he whips out a handheld game of 'whack-a-mole' using your thumbs as mallets. He could be seen violently stomping every time a mole escapes his incredibly slow thumbs. Hiko soon screams profanities in German as he throws the handheld game on the ground and proceeds to stomp on the poor thing until sparks start flying._

Hiko: Dos stupid moles von't vin any longer.

_Hiko proceeds to laugh maniacally while Tokio stares on in wonder._

Tokio: Hmm well I wonder what that guy was smoking. Well as we come away from the sports there has been an unsettling development. Moe Ron my Co-anchor and friend for just a short while has met his untimely doom. When I finally found him Moe was found cutting up a turkey into bite sized pieces. He put it in the oven but because the pieces were so small they exploded into oblivion taking Moe with them; stupid household appliances. Well on to something less serious. Dee Iceblok how's the weather over there?

_The camera pans over to Aoshi who proceeds to talk about the weather, all the while trying to be a ninja and summon something._

Aoshi: As you can see Big Buddha the rains from the north are bashing down in the west but in the east it seems to be raining frogs and turtles. Hmm for my latest experiment I'm going to see if I can summon some frogs over this way more to the south.

_Aoshi draws out a summoning circle bites his thumb and slams his hand on the floor._

Aoshi: Kuchiyose no Jutsu!

_Smoke filled the room and everybody began to cough as it thickened. There was a big thud as something landed on the floor but nobody could see a thing._

Aoshi: Wow I can't believe it actually worked.

??: Where am I?

Aoshi: Well it's not a frog but I can't believe I actually summoned something.

_The smoke clears and the audience gasp when they see a huge man rivaling Hiko in height looking rather confused. His long white hair swung wildly as he frantically moved his head side to side. He was dressed in rather interesting clothes. Green gi and pants with geta (wooden sandals). On his back he had a huge scroll like thing. People pointed and gasped when they saw his face; it looked like the man was crying blood. The man soon began running around frantically while yelling something about Tsunade-hime and it raining giant toads. The man seeing Saitou as the commanding figure ran straight to him._

??: Sir you have to help me, I need to get back to the hot springs to finish my research!!

_The man practically had jumped onto the desk and was currently kneeling on it with his head dangerously close to Saitou's. Saitou growled and slowly went for his sword while the man continued to plead._

Saitou: Who are you?

??: My name is Jiraiya the great Toad Sage of the east. Somehow it started raining frogs and turtles while I was conducting my research at the hot springs then all of a sudden I found myself here in this mysterious world. Where am I?

Saitou: Fool get off my desk, you're in Tokyo.

_Saitou then kicked Jiraiya off the desk and distanced himself from the strange man with a horned protector on his forehead._

Jiraiya: No I'll never be able to finish my resear…

_Jiraiya didn't finish when he saw Tokio sitting there looking at Jiraiya rather intrigued. A perverted smile graced his lips and he slowly inched towards her. Tokio smiled at him innocently while motioning for Saitou to stop where he was. She could handle this man; she wouldn't need her husband to come to her rescue her from this pervert._

Tokio: Come over here big boy; come let me help you finish your research.

_Tokio just batted her eyelashes and innocently put her sleeved hand to her mouth to hide the feral grin she was sporting. Jiraiya took hook, line and sinker and automatically came closer; to his doom that is. He would find that there even some women that were more scary than Tsunade and her herculean strength. When Tokio was finished with Jiraiya he was in twitching heap of pain. Rather merciful Aoshi decided that Jiraiya had had enough and sent him back. Years later Tsunade would always wonder what happened. _

Saitou: Well that was…interesting everybody can return to their seats now.

Hiko: Ah man that vas…I mean was fun though; Saitou why do you always have to ruin our fun.

Saitou: Because I'm evil that way, now get back to your seat before I take away your sake jug.

_Hiko glares at Saitou while hugging his precious sake jug. He even talked to it while stroking it._

Hiko: No, my precious, he didn't really mean it, no he didn't, oh no he didn't.

_Everybody on stage just looked at Hiko weird while he quickly gained control over himself. He coughed lightly trying to dispel the embarrassment he felt. Sano also magically appeared back in his seat with a noticeable bruise on his left cheek._

Saitou: O…K…

Saitou: Well now this had turned into quite the game show hasn't it?

??: I'd say so Saitou, you have completely turned it into a laughing stock.

_Saitou's eyes suddenly went wide. No it was too soon my plan for revenge isn't complete. She couldn't have found him so fast._

?? : Thought you could get away with it, tying me up and all.

Saitou: It was all fun and games nobody got hurt.

_Saitou then turned and faced Kenshin and Kaoru. He noticed that Kenshin was still tied up; this was his chance to turn everything around maybe get Kenshin back for last time. He signaled for Tokio to start recording using the cell phone she magically pulled out of her kimono sleeve._

Saitou: I am truly sorry I had only wished to feel the power of sitting behind this desk making people act out scenes that you gave them and make them look like total freaks.

Sano: You jerk, I hate you.

Saitou: Aye so what else is new? Well anyway Battousai I have seen the error of my ways and will now take my place among the actors. Aoshi you may sit down in the audience now.

_Without further hesitation Aoshi made his way to the stands while Saitou took his place right next to Tokio. He then casually pulled out a cigarette and lit it._

Kenshin: How many times do I have to tell you Saitou? Don't smoke on stage. It sets a bad example for the kids.

Saitou: Hn whatever Battousai just come take your seat and start the games back up.

_Kenshin glared and stuck his tongue out at the policeman while the smirking cop put out his cigarette and threw it backstage. Kenshin forgetting that he was still tied up began hopping down the stairs before he lost his balance rolled the rest of the way and fell with a splat on his face._

Kenshin: Ororororo…..

Hiko: Baka Deshi you should have made sure you were untied first.

Kenshin: Master! Stop calling me that.

_Kaoru frantically races down the stairs only to do the same thing and fall right on top of Kenshin only smashing his head once more into the ground. After a minute Kaoru popped up and began untying the incapacitated Kenshin._

Kaoru: There all better.

_Saitou could be found whispering to Tokio._

Saitou: That was better than I hoped. You can stop now.

Tokio: I think we should wait.

Saitou: Whatever for?

Tokio: To record his reaction when he finds out you're my husband.

_Saitou smirks evilly, oh this was going to be fun._

_Now that Kenshin was in his proper place he gazed at the performers. When his eyes fell on Tokio he tilted his head in confusion he'd never seen this woman before._

Kenshin: Umm…Miss who are you?

Tokio: Oh me? My name is Tokio.

Kenshin: And why are you here?

Tokio: Saitou invited me to come.

_Kenshin just looks at Saitou._

Kenshin: Why?

Tokio: he just wanted everybody to meet me, that's all.

Sano: What do you mean?

Tokio: Oh didn't Saitou tell you, I'm his wife. He sure did tell me much about you.

_The stage and audience just went silent. It was so quiet that anybody could have heard crickets chirping. Everybody was just in shock. Hiko was so shocked he had forgotten that he was drinking his sake and was just letting it run down his shirt. Sano was so surprised he just fainted. Kaoru just gasped and Kenshin's eyes popped out of his head while his jaw was on the top of the desk. Saitou reveled in the shock and smirked feeling oh so powerful. Revenge had been served. It was a good five minutes before Sano regained consciousness._

Saitou: Is it so shocking that I'm married.

Sano: How can a devil like you be married let alone even love someone.

Saitou: I'll pretend like I never heard that.

Sano: What? it's true.

Hiko: Oh all is lost; the world is coming to an end.

Kenshin: This young lady is your wife Saitou; I mean I was shocked when I heard you were married but wow to somebody this beautiful?

_Saitou and Tokio just growled while Kaoru smacked Kenshin upside the head._

Kaoru: Just because Miss Tokio is married to a freak like Saitou, doesn't mean you should make it sound like a bad thing Kenshin.

Kenshin: Kaoru dear I'm just surprised that's all, there must be at least thirteen years difference between them.

Tokio: Why are people so surprised that I'm married to Saitou and that I look the way I do?

Kaoru, Kenshin, Hiko and Sano: Because he's such a and you're so young.

_Tokio feigned surprise when she heard such colorful language and Saitou could only smirk._

Tokio: Saitou what did you do?

Saitou: My job.

Tokio: I think we've lost sight of the important thing here. Kenshin's ok and we can start the game again.

Sano: Provided I can get over what just happened I mean I even flirted with you.

Saitou: I'll let it slide just this once but if we don't start this game soon heads will roll.

_Kenshin, still amazed, just shook his head. Who would have guessed? Oh well on with the show._

Kenshin: I am now in charge and I say we do a game for Saitou.

Saitou: Like what?

Kenshin: I don't know.

Saitou: Idiot you better think of something soon because the show is almost over.

Sano: That's because we spent more time arguing with you. I mean I think you had more fun watching us get mad and dance around than you had just letting the game run. Now we won't be able to play four games because of you.

_Saitou just shrugs when Kenshin glares at him momentarily sticking out his tongue._

Kenshin: Whatever, you win this time Saitou but I'll get you back somehow.

_Kenshin then turns to the audience._

Kenshin: I'm sorry to say this but because of Saitou we only have time for one more game. Let's make it a good one.

Sano: I want to do the Irish drinking song.

Kenshin: Good choice, we'll do the Irish drinking song and this will be for all four of you, yes even you Saitou.

Saitou: I wouldn't have it any other way.

Kenshin: Well anyway what the four of you have to do is make up a drinking song one line at a time to music. What I need the audience to do while the performers are getting ready are suggestions for something sad that might cause you to start drinking.

_Somewhere in the audience somebody yelled…._

Audience member: Hey that's not fair in the last episode we didn't get to do the hoedown or the Irish drinking song, why do they get to do it.

Kenshin: Shishio because Sano wanted to do it.

Shishio: That's not fair.

Sano: Shut up Bunches O' Bandaids, you're not up here so there, Hey Tokio I love the nickname you gave Shishio.

_Tokio just smiled._

Tokio: I'm glad you like it, Saitou's not the only person who can give out great nicknames.

_Kenshin just rolls his eyes before asking for suggestions and immediately he heard things like divorce or crashed first car. Then he heard the perfect one, he might even be able to sort of use it to get back at Saitou; probably not though as this game wasn't for revenge it was for fun._

Audience: Losing a job.

Kenshin: That's the perfect one so these four performers are going to sing the Job loss Irish Drinking Song. Kaoru can you go over to the piano and play the right chords we'll need for this song?

Kaoru: I didn't even know we had a piano but sure.

_Piano is pushed out from back stage._

Sano: So that's where the music was coming from, backstage.

Kenshin: Kaoru, take it away.

_Kaoru began playing the tune for the Irish drinking song._

All: Oh aye-dee-dye-dee-dye-dee oh, oh aye-dee-dye-dee oh

Oh aye-dee-dye-dee-dye-dee oh, oh aye dee-dye-dee oh

Hiko: Today I'm sad I lost my job

Sano: I really want to die

Saitou: I'm losing all my property

Tokio: And I don't know why

Hiko: I wish I had another job

Sano: I'd be happy then.

Saitou: I'm really not a freeloader

Tokio: I'm just really broke.

All: Oh aye-dee-dye-dee-dye-dee oh, oh aye-dee-dye-dee oh

Oh aye-dee-dye-dee-dye-dee oh, oh aye dee-dye-dee oh

Hiko: Hey look I found something cool

Sano: I think I'm really rich.

Saitou: But then it was a glitch.

Tokio: People they hate me, and I don't know why.

Hiko: I'm talk and dark and really drunk.

Sano: And somewhat of a snoot.

Saitou: I need to find a new job.

Tokio: Because I have no change.

All: Oh aye-dee-dye-dee-dye-dee oh, oh aye-dee-dye-dee oh

Oh aye-dee-dye-dee-dye-dee oh, oh aye dee-dye-dee oh

Hiko: I think I found a brand new job

Sano: Boy this is going to be great

Saitou: I get to work with my sword

Tokio: And bring bad people in.

Hiko: It's kind of a fun job.

Sano: If you like uniforms.

Saitou: I get to work as a copper.

Tokio: And just sit around.

All (singing slowly): Oh I just like to sit around.

_The piano plays its last chords and everybody sits down._

Sano: That's a hard one to use to make fun of Saitou with.

Saitou: Oh is that what you were trying to do, well just wait for tomorrow you guys will be in for a treat.

Kenshin: What did you do this time Saitou?

Saitou: Now if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise or a treat.

_Kenshin just growls and ends the show._

Kenshin: Unfortunately this is all the time we have tonight but next time it shall be very fun because we shall have much time to try and find ways to get back at Saitou.

_Saitou just laughs, this was more than enough revenge for the fact he had been made fun of in the very first episode of "Whose Line" Kenshin style. It had taken his at least three days to get his bangs to get back to normal. They had been on end for that long, oh the humiliation he had to endure. Those infernal antennas were gone and he had great footage to get even with everybody._

The next day….

_The newspaper was delivered to all the performers on "Whose Line" Kenshin style and on the front page was Hiko and Sano on top of each other in that big tangled mess, the same one that had started when Hiko had been mad enough to throw his jug on his foot. Later on in the news it __showed not only Kenshin falling on his face with Kaoru following soon after but it also had the shocked reactions of all the other performers when they found out Saitou was married. To make it worse Saitou had even sent this tape into America's Funniest Home Videos. Oh how sweet revenge could be._

…_..And Kenshin was still trying to find a good way to get back at Saitou for it._

A/N: I apologize for any mistakes there were in this but I hope it was really funny. I put my heart and soul into this. I had so much fun trying to think of things. Oh btw if you couldn't guess in the beginning Bunches O'Bandaids was Shishio's little nickname. Tokio's so good at giving nicknames too.


End file.
